Archive

Hi there! This pause has been longer than expected. I don't know if I'll continue with Nerdful Mind in its current form. I'm still continuing my mindfulness journey, but my current focus is on building a mindful and...

Recently I was part of a small chocolate drinking ceremony during a Yoga session. We did Yoga, then drank natural cocoa in rice milk, got back to Yoga again, and then ended with Shavasana. This experience reminded...

I've mentioned mini check-ins before . They are a way to incorporate mindfulness in your day more easily and without taking much time. The most important person for you to take care of is yourself. Even if you take...

The great thing about communication methods is that it's often sufficient if only one party knows about them. That’s the case with the Triforce . The Triforce of Communication works by communicating clearly what you...

I'm sick this week, so here's a Zen Koan for you instead of a regular newsletter: “““ When one goes to Obaku temple in Kyoto he sees carved over the gate the words "The First Principle". The letters are unusually...

Language is a mess. Speaking, writing, listening, and reading are essential for communication. But despite being the best tool for this, exchanging complex thoughts and feelings and reaching a shared understanding...

A quick online search for “mindfulness for productivity” gives 7.8 million results with articles from Forbes and Inc. From my personal experience, the core message of these articles is correct, but not complete. Yes,...

Sometimes being mindful is hard. There‘s times we have a lot going on and mindfulness really doesn’t come easy. We might even try really hard, or just feel exhausted looking back at how easy mindfulness was at previous...

One reason to practice mindfulness is to get to know yourself - and thus others - better. This understanding helps us become more compassionate. Compassion is important in product development. Author and ex Google...

Why meditate? Why should you use just another part of your day for a new routine that takes precious time off your already short days? Here's one reason I practice mindfulness. I love jumping on my to-do list and tackling...

This week I held a keynote speech about mindfulness at a small local networking event. I really enjoyed preparing and giving the talk, but what I enjoyed most were the conversations after . The talk had a small mindfulness...

I've written about curiosity before . It's this childlike sense that everything around you is new and interesting, and full of things to discover without trying to attach purpose and meaning to them. There's two main...

How often do you take time for yourself? And what does it mean for you? Most people I know have a pretty good grasp of what their mind and body need. But the most common complaint about this is not being able to take...

A friend of mine started a job last year. He finished his master’s degree and then started working at a big corporation. He moved into a new apartment, financed a new kitchen, bought furniture, got new car, crossing...

Over the last two or three weeks, I have distracted myself a lot without being conscious about it. It's been pretty stressful. This affected my mindfulness, which affected my well-being. And my default reflex for this...

This week I have a simple productivity tip for you. At work, there are certain times (often related to the time of day) when the work just flows, while other tasks seem to drag on forever. An extremely valuable skill...

Have you ever heard the phrase “subcultures are fractal” ? The same is true for almost everything. From social interactions over thoughts in your mind, not ending with movements, definitions, or feelings. Nuance is...

Last weekend, I was at a dance event. It took place over three days and was, like every event I have visited before, a very enjoyable experience. One thing stood out, though, and that was the Zen Room . West coast...

“Can I keep doing this long term without negative effects?” That's what sustainability is about. That's true for eating and partnerships , but also for your career. In startup and hustle culture, some glorify sacrificing...

What is life? This question has millions of answers, most correct in some way or the other. Today let's take two thoughts together, and what conclusion they may lead to. Let's consider this: Your life happens in the...

What does it mean if you have negative feelings? I mean the feeling of being nervous, or stressed, or angry, about something that's coming up or something another person said. Sure, there's the immediate negative feeling...

You don’t need to be perfect. That sentence is pretty obvious. Nobody and nothing can be perfect. (Depending on your definition of perfect.) But what's not so obvious is that your opinions don't need to be perfect,...

“I have ambitious goals. I need to be stressed.” Is that true? This is a thought I often had in my early twenties. That the constant feeling of stress I had was my drive, without which I could have never done all the...

We all have mental barriers. It starts with the filters in your head that dictate what you can say and doesn't end with the limits you set on what you can achieve in life. If you are one of those people who value personal...

Life can seem like an uphill battle. No matter how hard we work, it never seems to be enough. There's always more stuff to do coming towards us. I often wish it would get easier. It's easy to get lost in day-to-day...

The appeal of everything wears off at some point. That raise you got, the bigger home, that new video game. You enjoy it for a few days or weeks, but then you just get used to having it in your life. This is known...

I recently attended a contemporary dance class. It was not like I expected, but I wouldn't change it for anything else I could have done in those 90 minutes. I was at a West Coast Swing festival over that weekend....

If a few years ago someone had told me acceptance was the key to a happy life, I would have smiled and nodded, but not believed it. On the surface level, acceptance seems right. Accepting things means you're focusing...

What's the greatest gift you can give to another person? Sure, concert tickets are great, and gifting that trip to Iceland they always wanted would probably make them scream in excitement. But there's one gift everyone...

Is life too long or too short? Does this question even make sense? I believe that there is so much more to do in life than we have time for. So much more to try out and so many more places to see than any human could...

“They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.” — Carl W. Buehner This is so true, even for work environments. If you're talking to a client, boss, coworker, or prospect, they...

Some days, thinking about my to-do list makes me anxious. My heart is pounding and I become easily irritable. It's on those days when I know I have much more on my list than I could ever reasonably finish that day....

There was a time in my life when I slept 6–6.5 hours a night for weeks on end. I thought I could do that, and that the extra hours were worth sleeping less. Oh boy was I wrong.. I underestimated how important sleep...

Advice is well meant, but often misleading. When someone gives you advice, what do you get? You get a condensed, very slim abstract of someone’s experiences. Classify it accordingly. This means advice will miss context...

I'm sure you've heard of the growth mindset. If you need a recap, according to that model, there are two ways people approach their life. People with a growth mindset : see themselves as capable of learning and growing...

My mornings have a tremendous impact on my productivity. There's a vast difference between these two morning routines: Turn off the alarm, scroll through YouTube shorts for 20 minutes, get up, drink a glass of water,...

It can occasionally be pretty stressful to remember to take time for yourself. It's kind of a paradox. The desire to do something good for ourselves creates stress. How does this happen and what can we do about it?...

Patience is one key to a success and happiness. Much of our unhappiness comes from impatience. We are impatient in the line in the supermarket and feel stressed because we just want to get home. Or we're impatient...

When I have more to do than I can handle, I get stressed. If I get stressed, I'm much less patient with myself and with others. This makes me irritable. And then, sometimes, little things and inconveniences anger me....

Love makes us vulnerable. Friendship does, too. As do hope, goals, and uncertainty. But vulnerability is not a bad thing, and here are three reasons why. We humans are social creatures. Connection with others is what...

A new year is not the time for New Year’s resolutions. Instead, it's the perfect time to reflect . A time to pause . To be grateful . And a time to take a step back and see the big picture. Around new year’s eve, I...

Sometimes you have a lot to do and no time to pause. TL;DR: I had a stressful time, didn't mediate, but still take something positive from this experience. The last few weeks have been stressful. Christmas time, my...

This is issue no. 100 of Nerdful Mind. I'm amazed. 100 weeks of writing have gone by. And so much has happened, globally, and for me personally. One question I now ask myself is: "why do I still write this newsletter...

Drifting attention is an evolutionary bonus. Look around now and then and you may find yourself in danger. Beware of the tigers. In our modern civilization, with jobs that require your attention for hours on end, too...

Difficult inner states (DIS) are normal. When a deadline is coming up and I'm behind the schedule, I feel stressed. Other times I feel angry about a comment someone made (which they probably didn't even think about...

"Seek discomfort." That's not only the motto of Yes Theory , a global media brand. It's also a motto dear to my heart. Discomfort is when you're feeling uneasy or distressed because you're in a situation not fully...

How do you measure the success of meditation? Is a mindfulness meditation successful if your thoughts didn't wander for the entire time? Is a Metta (loving-kindness) meditation successful if you're lying on the floor,...

In your team, when you say you'll write a component test for this thing you're working on, it's obvious what you'll do, right? Right? Probably not. Words are hard. And if everyone on your team seems to agree on what...

Changing jobs is a scary thought. You're losing access to everything you know so well, and you have to re-learn so much to get back up to speed. You're venturing into the unknown. Who knows, maybe you don't like your...

An important skill I'm learning through mindfulness is to recognize what I want to do. I'm not talking about the general direction of my life (although that is also possible and necessary, but I'll cover that in a...

You've either done this yourself or you know someone who does this regularly. Engaging in a negative loop to the bottom. It goes like this: “I'll never get this done in time.” “I'm too dumb and too slow.” “Where should...

This year, I quit my job to become a freelance software engineer. I had a pretty good idea what was going to come. But together with all my other projects, my ambitions, and additional personal challenges, having to...

Envy is useless. There are people who are much better Node devs than I am. There are much better dancers. Many people are fitter, and many earn more than I do. Someone will always be "better" in some aspect. But that...

Sustainability is big right now. And rightfully so. But it isn't tied to a specific industry, or category. Sustainability is also relevant in many personal areas. A handful of cookies per day can be sustainable. But...

What do you do with new ideas? I bet they're causing you joy and excitement. But they can also make you anxious. You'll never find the time to test them all out. So, how can we handle ideas calmly? The first step is...

What is your no. 1 worry? The top worries I have are social, financial, and about health. And that makes a lot of sense if viewed from an evolutionary perspective . If my social worries come true, I may get kicked...

Happiness is a decision, not a destination. Why Happiness is Not a Destination Thinking “once I have this, I'll be happy” is a trap. There's always more. More to desire, and more to look forward to. After we've covered...

"What do you do to relax?" the student asked his master. "Nothing," the master replied. "When I walk, I walk, when I eat, I eat, and when I sleep, I sleep." "That's what everyone does," the student responded....

We're creatures of habit. We need to be. Thinking about every single movement and decision as if it were the first time we did it would take way too much time - let alone that it'd be exhausting. Some habits serve...

What do you control? And what is out of your control? If two major ancient belief systems, Buddhism and Stoicism, contain this piece of advice, there must be something to it, right? In Buddhism we have Shantideva who...

I'm laughing and I hope you do, too. At least sometimes. Laughter decreases levels of cortisol and epinephrine, and releases dopamine and serotonin. This makes you feel less stressed, more relaxed, and happier ( study...

RAIN is a technique I learned from the book “10% happier” by Dan Harris. This acronym stands for: R: recognize A: allow I: investigate N: non-identification It's a method to apply mindfulness in acute situations...

“Let go” means “let it be”. One thing I learned from the book “10% Happier” is that when meditation teachers say we should “let go” of a thought or feeling what they mean is “let it be”. Our job as meditators is to...

Can you remember the last time your mind and body were in perfect harmony? I love this feeling. It's like the flow state when writing code, but for mind and body. Just focusing on the current movement and the goal....

One simple but powerful benefit of meditation is that I now regularly check in with my body. Every few minutes, sometimes multiple times a minute, I check in. Every time, my focus is a little different, but I always...

I always knew that breaks are important. But there is a difference between knowing, understanding , and internalizing . When you know something, you can talk about it with others. You occasionally remind yourself...

When I don't know what to do in a situation, I take a deep breath and smile gently. As I started to write this issue, I felt a sudden rush of anxiety. I had no topic. Nothing to write about. Just a few years ago, this...

At first, this thought frightened me. Nothing we can do on this pale blue dot will ever have a meaning to the vast universe. Every person will be forgotten some day. Wait long enough, and everything we build today...

What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with tech? As developers, we spend many of our waking hours and most of our working hours in front of screens. Most of us have a smartphone, and many have on-screen...

There's this notion for startups that to make more sales, you can either increase the value your product brings, or increase the perceived value of your product. You increase the value of your product by adding features,...

Negative emotions are self-reinforcing. At least, they can be . Negative thoughts and feelings are a difficult topic, because everyone is susceptible to them to a different degree. Like an avalanche, negative emotions...

There are no shortcuts to success . There are no shortcuts to happiness . There are no shortcuts to friendship . There are no shortcuts to being fit & healthy . There are no shortcuts to true love . There are no...

“Survival matters more than performance.” I recently watched a video about the concept of ergodicity (here's a great article if you prefer reading). It's the mathematical idea that if some activity has the chance to...

Meditating is like watching a pond become still. At first, the surface calms down and you can see it reflecting its surroundings. Then the water itself clears. The particles of mud and dirt sink to the ground and you...

Meditation is a practice. But what do you practice when you meditate? You practice two things: Noticing your thoughts and feelings Letting go of thoughts and feelings you noticed Both together offer so many direct...

When was the last time you did something that scared you? “Do one thing every day that scares you” is something you might have read. I recently saw a longer version of this: Do one thing that scares you a little every...

How many lives have you touched this week? There are obvious ones: your partner, friends, family and coworkers. The people you interact with often. Then there are people whose lives you only briefly touched. The person...

Mindfulness not only benefits your own life. When you stay present without judging, you are more calm, and more compassionate with yourself and others. We can take mindfulness to our communication. This leads to deeper...

I always marvel at the complexity and beauty of our universe. Whether we look at the smallest subatomic particles or the largest structures in our universe. We can find beauty everywhere. There's so much we as humans...

Compassion is the feeling you get when others or yourself are in physical, mental, or emotional pain, and you get the motivation to ease that pain. To ease that pain, you do acts of compassion. Compassion is closely...

Curiosity is a gift you can give yourself. When you're curious, you are asking questions and looking for answers. You burn with the desire to learn more about others and yourself, the past and the future, your surroundings...

You know that fear of missing out. You may have it when your friends are doing an activity where you don't take part. Others have FOMO about social media like Twitter or Reddit. “Just a quick check. Maybe I'm missing...

Trust and respect make or break teams. Let's break this sentence down: A team is a group of at least two people that have common goals. This encompasses your team at work, and your relationship or family. Trust has...

Communicating is hard. It is the only way we interact with others. And we cannot not communicate . Other humans are the source of much of our joy and most of our sadness. Therefore, we should always strive to get better...

What do you want to do? Do you know? This simple question has so many facets: There's the temporal view : what do you want to do now, later today, or tomorrow. The question may have unspoken conditions : what would...

You know this feeling. Your heart racing, your mind a foggy cloud of anger. “How could they do this?!” “But why?” “I hate this!” Just like worry or fear , anger is mostly useless ( but not completely ). It gives...

The constant chatter in our minds. I always thought these voices are me. That every single sentence is important. That every thought, however it makes me feel, expresses who I am deep inside. Except it's not. Meditation...

Are you patient? According to Wikipedia, patience “is the ability to endure difficult circumstances. Patience may involve perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding in disrespect/anger;...

You can't fail at meditation. The goal of meditation is to observe your object of focus without judging it. You can't fail at either of these two parts. If you fail to observe the object of focus and the thoughts and...

What do you worry about? Do you worry about losing your health, or your job? Do you worry what others think of you? Worry is a useless emotion. How did that sentence make you feel? Worrying is always directed at...

“You should make the best of this.” But how? And what does it mean? There's a pandemic going on. We stay at home and hear bad news every day. We can't meet friends and family right now, and some of us have loved ones...

Do you have new year's resolutions? Be it more physical activity, eating healthier, keeping a writing habit, or starting that side business. If you had resolutions before, be honest: did you keep the resolutions last...

When was the last time you enjoyed silence? Silence is not only the absence of sound. It's the absence of visual distraction and movement as well. You've probably heard that a great speech needs pauses at the right...

How hard is it to do what you want? If you want to eat a sugary snack, do you have it within arm's reach? Or would you need to go to the nearest supermarket to buy one? We call this concept of how hard or easy it is...

Fear is mostly useless. Not everywhere. And it wasn't for most of history. Fear helped us as a species survive. But today, in wealthy countries, you don't need to fear being an animal's main course. Unless you're eye-to-eye...

Life is a journey. You’ve heard this before. But this analogy goes further than you may think. If you have goals, you spend your time working towards these goals. But the journey of your life doesn’t stop once you...

Confidence and mindfulness are closely related. You can’t be confident when your mind constantly thinks about the past, or worries about the future. If you’re holding a presentation, people feel it when you’re not...

It’s difficult to accept faults. Not the faults of others, and even more so not your own. When you get angry or disappointed, examine why you feel that way. Is it because of the other person? Or do you direct that...

It's always with you. It shows you how you feel, and it affects the way you feel. Of course I'm talking about your body. Your body offers many opportunities to anchor yourself in the current moment. The feeling in...

Is there something you want to change? It’s great that you wish to improve. That means you’re alive. That you have ambitions, dreams, and that you’re on a journey. But where do these goals come from? At what point...

Seeing my 2 years old niece run around in the garden makes me light-hearted. The smile on her face. And her wide-open eyes looking at everyday things in amazement. Most of us forget this playful curiosity when we get...

Smile if you’ve ever given yourself a hard time. Maybe you didn’t reach a goal important to you, or you were mean to someone close to you. There's no need to give yourself a hard time. Accept that you did something...

What is unconditional love? It means many things simultaneously, and you can direct it towards another person or yourself. Unconditional love means: giving, expecting nothing in return being appreciative and supportive...

What relationships do you have in life? And which are the important ones? Your colleagues, friends, parents, siblings, partner, or kids are all part of your life. The relationship that arguably influences our lives...

Resistance accompanies us every day. Be it an uncomfortable physical feeling you rather wouldn’t have, or a thought in your mind that you resist. The journey of mindfulness is also a journey of noticing resistance....

How do you know what you feel? Yes, you ‘should’ feel how you feel. But that doesn’t always work, at least for me. I think I’m feeling a certain way, but in retrospect it’s obvious that there were more things hidden...

There is so much to do. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Everything calls for our attention, and there are myriads of tasks that take you closer to your goals. You only have so much time left here on earth. How do you...

Most things are changing. From the people moving in and out of your city, over the cells in your body, to each thought in your mind. The people in your life are also constantly changing, too. We make new experiences,...

What do you do when things don't go according to plan? It feels good to get our voice heard. To be understood. To share our anger and frustration with someone. But complaining doesn't solve anything. In an uncomfortable...

It's difficult to let go. Someone is mean to us and we get angry A friend lets us down and we feel hurt Our partner doesn't meet our expectations, and we feel stressed We can get these feelings from others. But also...

You can practice Mindfulness everywhere, anytime. Whether you are meditating and focussing on your breath, going to work, or cooking dinner. In meditation, you practice awareness and letting go of thoughts. You define...

Your breath is the perfect anchor. One of our goals in meditation is to get more often into a state of continuous mindfulness. We start with meditation to practice this feeling of being present. Then, with time, we...

Have you ever thought about what acceptance truly means? Acceptance is not passive resignation. It means to not fight with reality, but to recognize it and find ways to work with it. Too often we feel angry or...

Focused meditation is the basis of most other meditation techniques. You focus your attention mindfully on an object of focus. This could be your breath, a visualization, or a small pebble in front of you. Focusing...

Imagination is powerful. We humans imagine how things turn out before pursuing them. Animals can imagine the effects of their behavior. Imagination is what we do when we solve a problem, and when we make plans for...

I want to change myself - is meditation right for me? What is your expectation when you sit down to meditate? Do you want to change? What, and why? Although meditation can change yourself in the long run, don't pressure...

Meditation is not just sitting still. Although that is one form of it, there are more types of meditation than there are people on our planet. Some categories of meditation are: focus meditation, loving kindness meditation,...

Do you feel better when you feel close to others? I'd bet yes. We're all human. Loving-kindness meditation ( Metta Meditation ) helps you cultivate this feeling. It focuses on developing benevolence and loving kindness...

How do you approach your meditation? You sit down and do your favorite meditation technique. Then.. What? How do you transition from meditation back to life? You open your eyes, smile, take a deep breath, and carry...

What do you do when your phone vibrates? When you hear that bling ? Even if you don't immediately grab your phone and read your notification, it ripped away your attention from whatever you were focusing on. Do you...

My dancing teacher says that if we can’t do something slowly, we can’t do it fast. When we only dance a pattern fast, we probably hide errors. If we learn to dance it slowly, we can always speed up later. This is one...

I have this memory that always comes back and gives me negative feelings. What do I do? First, remember that the past already happened. It's unchangeable. The only thing you can do is learn from it. To do things better in...

As humans, we sometimes feel lonely. We are stuck at home and can't meet friends and family. Or we get that feeling that we are isolated inside our head and can never share our thoughts and feelings as they are. This...

Did you know there are forms of meditation where you don’t sit still? When people hear about meditation, many think this means sitting on the floor, cross-legged, and connecting with your breath. Meditation is much...

As humans, we tend to misinterpret communication. Especially when we’re not seeing the other person face-to-face. When was the last time you received a text message that you stared on in disbelief? A message that...

Most negative feelings exist because our expectations do not match reality. Whether you planned a day at the beach only to find it raining the entire day, or a family member personally attacks you in a discussion....

How was your last conversation with a friend or family member? Did you tell a story? Did you really listen? And did you ask questions? We sometimes think about what to say next, mentally check our to-do list or...

Where is your mind when you are eating? Are you fully present with your meal or do you think about something else, listen to a podcast or watch your favorite series? Just like cooking, eating is a wonderful opportunity...

How often do you cook? Cooking is an exceptional opportunity to practice mindfulness. You work with your hands and touch the different ingredients. You can smell what’s in the pot, feel the heat, and hear it boiling....

In each meditation, we practice awareness. What is awareness, and why is awareness important? Awareness is not the same as attention. When you focus on something, you give it your undivided attention. It fully absorbs...

Meditation, in essence, means compassion and awareness. This week we’ll examine what compassion is and how we use it in our meditation practice. Compassion is the feeling that occurs when another person is suffering,...

Last week, we discussed simplicity in our personal life and that it means to eliminate what is nonessential. The same concept can be applied to our working lives. Simplicity in our work context means: Which tasks...

Last week, we looked at simplicity in general as a means to have less stuff to think about. What does simplicity mean in our personal life? Simplicity does not only mean to get rid of things you don't need. It means...

Why is there so much fuzz around simplicity? Simplicity means less complexity. Fewer things to understand and fewer items to maintain. Fewer decisions to make and fewer distractions from the current moment. Ultimately,...

We are dissatisfied when our inner expectations do not match reality. To fix this, we have two options: either we force reality to match our expectations, or we adjust our expectations. Forcing reality to match my...

Meditation is not the key to a happy life. It is undoubtedly true that it can help you become more content, and this is also the case for me, but it is not the right "tool" for everyone. Meditation ultimately leads...

You are not your thoughts. You might have heard this quote before and wondered: “what am I, if not my thoughts?” There is the story of the two men at a beach. While one man sat there enjoying the view, the other man...

Last week, my introduction was about  how small steps can create significant results . But also that these changes need time. It is difficult for most humans to change their behavior at will. That is because most...

Meditation is a journey. So is life itself. Where we are now in our lives is determined only marginally by what we did yesterday. It is more determined by what we did a few months ago, and even more by what we did...

Hi! I hope you had a great weekend! Most of us spend most of our time working, so weekends are an opportunity to spend time with family and friends or work on personal projects. Time always moves forward, and no money...

Why? This simple question obsesses me. There are so many levels to it. "WHY do I want a coffee right now?", "WHY do I work as a software engineer", "WHY does the customer want that feature?", "and WHY do they want...

Hello! Lovely to welcome you to the first issue of Nerdful Mind. You will receive a weekly curation of articles around mindfulness, neuroscience, and software engineering principles. For me, all three areas are closely...