How do you know what you feel?
Yes, you ‘should’ feel how you feel. But that doesn’t always work, at least for me. I think I’m feeling a certain way, but in retrospect it’s obvious that there were more things hidden under the surface.
What works wonders in uncovering my feelings is taking the time to describe them to someone.
Use the simplest formula: “I feel ...” followed by one or two words. Sentences like “I feel tired”, “I feel angry”, “I feel tired”, or “I feel content”. Then explain that feeling or give it details, without attacking the human listening to you.
Don’t say “I feel like ...”, because that is often an “I think” and doesn’t get you closer to your real feelings. Also avoid “You make me feel ...”, because that can seem aggressive towards the person listening and invites counter-aggression.
Constructively expressing your feelings helps you to get a stronger grip on your emotions, and it supports your friend, partner, or family member to further understand you.
Reading Recommendations
How to Fight Stress with Empathy - Mindful
“We often use the words ‘I'm stressed’ casually in our everyday conversations, with little acknowledgment of the adverse effects of stress in our lives. But evidence suggests that we should be much more concerned about our stress levels than we are.”
Understanding Others | Psychology Today
“Empathy to me means being able to see the whole person, and give them time and space to just be, without any judgment or my own cultural opinions”
7 Persona Mistakes – The Team W Blog
“Many UX, Design, and Marketing professionals create and/or use personas. Personas have become so common that some would say that they are over-used.”
Weekly Mindfulness Practice
Take a deep breath and let everything go.
Close your eyes.
Think about one thing, moment, or person who made you happy today.
Enjoy that feeling for a few breaths.
Open your eyes with a smile.
End Note
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Have a great week
Simon
PS: If you found an article you think others might like, and that fits this newsletter, I’d love it if you write me an email. Just reply!